Patti Stanger is a third generation matchmaker who plays cupid in her business of fixing up millionaires with their perfect mate and can be seen regularly on her Bravo TV series, “Millionaire Matchmaker”. She is also the author of “Becoming Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate” and is a partner in a new online dating service for everyone called P.S. XOXO as well as the spokesperson for 1-800-Flowers.com.

As many of you who watch Matchmaker can attest Patti is not shy when it comes to schooling her clients about entering the dating scene and putting their best foot forward both visually and internally. We decided to catch up with the very busy Ms. Stanger to discuss the current 3rd season of the show, her recent book, being engaged and of course advice for Valentine’s Day whether you’re single, in a new or a long-term relationship.

On the TV Show “Millionaire Matchmaker”

I first addressed the issue of how hard and blunt Patti is with her Millionaires, potential matches and staff. She told me it’s a business and her clients are paying the big bucks to find them a mate. “Bravo doesn’t pay for any of the dates or mixers, my clients do, so at the end of the day I have to deliver”.

The current season seems to feature more help from psychologists, image consultants and life coaches. Is this new for the show? “We made a conscientious effort this season to work on the internal makeovers.  A lot of people are broken and they need to be fixed.” She went on to say that some people aren’t ready to find love because they are broken and not ready. “I’m not afraid to turn people away from my business who aren’t ready…including celebrities.” She insinuated a particular well known celebrity who she assured me we all know very well that came to her but, she turned him away as not being at all ready.

She pointed out that in recent episodes clients like Justin and Omar suffer from simply being in the ‘20 something’ immature millionaire group who think they know everything and are reluctant to take her advice.

Will we be seeing more Gay or Female Millionaires this season and how do you feel about these categories? “There will be two Gay Millionaires and 1 Bi-Female Millionaire which is probably my favorite episode coming up”. She told me she’s kind of over the Gay Millionaires as, “they just want to sleep around and there’s a sense that there’s always something better out there so the relationships never last.”

On the book: “Becoming Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate”

I like that the book is for everyone looking for love not just for millionaires. “Rich, poor doesn’t matter, everyone needs help”.  “The biggest misconception that people have about a matchmaker is that you think we can make someone fall in love with you or get you married. We can’t get you married! We can give you the person that you should marry, but you’ve got to close the deal.”

What’s in the chapter, “Qualify your buyer”? ” “How to tell the good guys from the bad guys.” “Figuring out what you like and how to attract that in your guy”.

Can anyone ever find love if they sleep around? “No!” Patti went on to say that she really believes in energy and that when you sleep with someone, that person’s energy  or vibration takes up your space which doesn’t allow room for a potential real love to come into the picture.

Do you recommend dating sites like Match.com to find love? “I’m actually one of the founders of a dating site, PS XOXO which is different from other dating sites because we teach you  how to fill out your profile and give you the tools to find your match, making it a fantastic site.” “I do think people should only spend about 30% of their time on these sites with the remainder of time getting out there and meeting people including  friends of friends.”

On Valentine’s Day: Patti gives advice on the upcoming holiday whether your single or in a relationship:

If your single should you try and find someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with or have a ‘party for one’? She said if you’re single, use a referral from a friend or “better yet have a party for all your single friends and have your friends invite someone from the opposite sex”. “The best thing to do is get out of the house rather than moping or groping around alone.”

If your not ready to meet someone or in the wrong state of mind, “have a pajama party for your girlfriends and watch scary movies and have fun with your friends, just don’t be alone!”

What if you’re in a new or long-term relationship? “Let the man lead, every man knows it’s ‘free sex’ night!

What are appropriate gifts besides the typical flowers and chocolates? “Jewelry, even if it’s not expensive. Flea markets are some of the best places to find jewelry that’s original and not expensive. Your trying to create memories and there’s no better way to do that than with jewelry.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of flowers! Every woman loves receiving flowers and since I’m the spokesperson for 1-800-Flowers, you can go to their HOME page and find the perfect arrangement for dating, new or long-term relationship arrangements.”

Getting to know Patti off the top of her head:

• Favorite Flower? “Roses”
• Favorite City? “Miami, I should say NY because that’s where I’m from but, I’m a ‘Miami Girl’ at heart.”
• Signature Cocktail? “Cosmo”
• Favorite Wine? “A fine glass of Syrah”
• Dinner or Dancing? “Dinner, I’m a foodie but, I can go for casual or the French Laundry”
• Romantic evening in or going out? “Spending a quiet evening in since I’m so busy and tired lately”
• Shopping in NY or L.A.? “New York, definitely!”
• Working Out? “Not much, I’ve just been working so much and I don’t eat bread. Plus I take my enzymes and drink a special tea”.
• Work or Vacation? “Vacation….I’m a beach bunny…give me my iPod and Kindle and I’m good to go!”

I congratulated Patti on her engagement to her boyfriend, Andy Friedman and she informed me that we’ll be seeing wedding arrangements on the show but, that she still can’t decide if it’s going to be a large or small wedding. “Probably about 200 people”. You can catch “Millionaire Matchmaker” every Tuesday night on Bravo. Happy Valentine’s Day!